My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
