her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
