We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize