I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
is it fun? or sober?
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