Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure

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(703): View more from Virginia

Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.

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(708): View more from Illinois

so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.

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(561): View more from Florida

Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars

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(541): View more from Oregon

I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Miracles do happen.

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(646): View more from New York

I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

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(845): View more from New York

I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....

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(214): View more from Texas

Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl

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(417): View more from Missouri

This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.

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