The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
