i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
