i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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