You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
