im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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