Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
