Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
