Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
