Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
