With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
