I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
