Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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