carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
