Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
her vagine was all disorganized.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize