my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have fence marks all over my body
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
