Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Randomize
