I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
