I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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