Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
