u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
