If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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