oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Everclear isn't food dammit
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