honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
