we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
