I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize