It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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