Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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