im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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