He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
