Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
