I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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