I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
