OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
