talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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