i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
