also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
