I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
