8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
