we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize