We're facebook friends in real life
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
