one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
