There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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