oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
