Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
