All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
