I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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