The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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