this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
