everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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