she looked like the before picture.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
