So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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