first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize