playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
