wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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