some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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