I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
