Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
