yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
