So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
